i didn't die.
i didn't come in last place.

so, all in all, it was a success.

there was this thing that happened in the water. i swam 1/3 of a mile at greenlake two days prior, but i took several breaks and practiced many different strokes (the "bullet" included). i didn't have goggles either, so i didn't spend much time with my face in the water.

i'd told my roommate the night before that i was just going to take it easy and swim nice and slow, taking a breath every three strokes. flip over on my back when i got tired. no problem.

i get in the water and 25 strokes into it, i'm already out of breath. and in typical survival function, i really don't want to shove my head under water with my chest this tight. so i panic. alot. sloppy survival swimming ensues. i turn on my back like i had planned and swam fiercely. but even with all the swimmers around me and bouys and lifeguards, i couldn't see anything but heavy clouds. push, kick, pull, swim and it didn't feel like i was moving at all.

i would flip back over, put my head in the water, panic again, flip over. see no progress. rinse, repeat.

fear. futility. which one felt worse? even now, i'm not sure.

but biking was good.